Don't want this anymore.

Dont read, if you dont want to.

Confusing thoughts coming upp all at one time. It´s dark outside and i´m scared, scared of almost everything. Most of how my past will affect my only future.

It just feels like the road is too long... to far to get me to the end.

Where everything has an answer. All problems will be solved.

And yeah i know.. Who cares? Well... i do. Sometimes.

But now... i actually don´t. I just wanna figure out how to live MY life.

And that's why im not home. Im just drowning when im home. Nothing works. Nobody cares. I just need a motivation. Something that makes me want to live... for real. Feel alive. Feel happy.

I wish i could take all the things i learn here back home. But i can't.

My people, my home and my hole environment isn't positive. Everything always flips on me. I can't take care of everything. I'm not a grown up and i don't want to act like one either. I want to have fun and be childish as long as i possibly can! I'm counted as an grown up when i'm 18.

I'm gonna learn some stuff on the way there because thats how you grow up. Not by act smart and wind yourself further than you really are!

So... i'm gonna find myself now. Don't bother me for that please!

And don't judge me just because im not always making the right decisions. Or because i'm confused sometimes. I know all of us is. It's not easy ok`?

So now. i speaked my mind. thanks.